Fix It

Sometimes I feel like I'm Dr. Phil.  He often says on his show how many parents bring him their children, offer it up to the alter of Dr. Phil and say, "Fix it."

Authors do this to me.  They bring their babies, their beautiful stories.  To me, they often resemble Quasimodo.  And they bat their eyes at me, usually big, blue, wet eyes.  So full of hope, waiting for me to tell them how great their story is.  And then expect me to pull out my wand made of ash wood with a unicorn hair core.  And fix it.

If I had my way, I’d say, “Avada Kedavra!”

1. If I did actually just go through and "fix it," the author would have a heart attack.  I've just turned their child into the elephant man. 

2. My job as editor is not to "fix" your work.  My job as an editor is to point out errors and inconsistencies and show you the way to fix it yourself.  If you want someone to "fix" your writing, hire a ghost writer.

Authors come to me looking for justification for their actions.  I’m not a priest.  I can’t absolve you.

They look for me to give them approval.  I’m nobody.  Why do you need my approval?

They look to me to do their work for them.  I’m probably lazier than you are.  Look somewhere else.

The fact of the matter:  all the tools any author needs are already out there.  More power to you if you're willing and want to do the work.

So why write a blog at all?

I like the sound of my computer keys as my fingers race over them.